Jay Gets His Groove On!
by BookJunkie007
Summary: Just fluffy one-shots with no real plot with people just groovin' to music.
1. Jay Gets His Groove On!

It was a normal afternoon at the Academy. Delilah and Zoe were done their homework and now were just wandering around the Academy and talking about spy stuff. They were walking down the hallway by Julius' room and heard a loud pulsing beat coming from his room. Curious, they quietly went to his door and opened it.

Inside, Julius was dancing like a wild man. He was doing the robot, the moonwalk, and basically just grooving to the music:

"Do the moo shoo!

Do the moo shoo!

Do the moo shoo!

Do the moo shoo!

Kung pao

Chicken!

Mongolian

Chicken!

Sweet and sour

Chicken!

Do the moo shoo!

Moo shoo shoo moo moo

shoo muh moo shoo

Moo shoo shoo moo moo

shoo muh moo shoo

Moo shoo shoo moo moo

shoo muh moo shoo

Moo shoo shoo moo moo

shoo muh moo shoo

Mandarin

Pork!

Barbecue

Pork!

Sweet and sour

Pork!

Spicy shredded

Pork!

Do the to fu!

Fo fo to n to to foo foo

Fo fo to n to to foo foo

Fo fo too n to to n fo fo

Fo fo too n to to n fo fo

Lemon pepper

Duck!

Orange peel

Shrimp!

Stir fried

Rice!

Wonton

Soup!

Dan dan

Noodles!

Cantonese

Chow mein!

Fortune

Cookies!

Shanghai

Cucumbers!

Hi-ya!

Do the moo shoo!"

It was "Do the Moo Shoo" from Veggie Tales, the techno version! Delilah and Zoe quietly closed the door and snickered.

"So that's why he won't let me listen to his iPod," Delilah said. "He's got Veggie Tales on it. He lets me borrow his CDs, though, but I've never seen his Veggie Tales. He must hide them."

"He let's you borrow his CDs?" Zoe asked, shocked. "I asked him if I could borrow his Plain White T's CD and he practically bit my head off!"

"Well, I guess you're not worthy of his CD collection, are you?" Delilah said, smug. "Oh, wait. He changed the song."

Sure enough, "Belly Button" was playing now, also from Veggie Tales. Delilah and Zoe started walking down the hallway again.

"We're not going to let him know that we saw his dancing, are we?" Zoe asked.

"No," Delilah answered, "we'll keep that little fun fact to ourselves."

"Okay," Zoe said, and they continued walking down the hallway, quietly snickering to themselves.


	2. Let's Do the Time Warp Again!

"Let's Do the Time Warp Again!"

Delilah and Nosey were walking down the hall discussing how Nosey could possibly have such bad luck for falling into smelly locations. They had decided that Fate was against Nosey and was determined for him not to have a date for the rest of his spy career. They were passing Julius' room and heard the happy, bouncy, beat of "Dammit Janet" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show blasting through the door. Delilah and Nosey thought nothing of it and walked past. A few minutes later, they walked past Julius' room again. This time, "The Time Warp's" beat was starting up. Curious to see if Julius knew the Time Warp, Nosey and Delilah poked their heads in.

"Magenta: You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha ha!

Riff Raff: It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll. But listen closely,

Magenta: Not for very much longer,

Riff Raff: I've got to keep control. I remember doing the time warp, drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me.

Together: And the void would be calling.

Transylvanians: Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again.

Criminologist: It's just a jump to the left,

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right,

Criminologist: Put your hands on your hips,

Transylvanians: Then pull your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!

Magenta: It's so dreamy, oh, fantasy free me, so you can't see me, no not at all. In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip,

Magenta: You're into the time slip,

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same,

Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation

Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation.

Transylvanians: Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!

Colombia: Well, I was walking down the street just a-havin' a think. When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He shook-a me up, took me by surprise. He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change. Time meant nothin', never would again

Transylvanians: Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!

Criminologist: It's just a jump to the left,

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right,

Criminologist: Put your hands on your hips,

Transylvanians: And bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!

Colombia's tap dance solo

Transylvanians: Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!

Criminologist: It's just a jump to the left,

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right,

Criminologist: Put your hands on your hips,

Transylvanians: You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!"

Yep, he knew it all right. Julius knew all the steps perfectly, right down to the pelvic thrusts. Nosey and Delilah removed their heads from inside the room, quietly shut the door, and backed away, slowly, from the door.

They stood there for several minutes in shock, then continued down the hallway, silently agreeing to never speak about what they had just seen, ever.


	3. Baby Got Back!

Julius' door was open and music was blaring, again. Delilah was walking by when Julius poked his head out, looked left and right, then pulled Delilah into his room.

"Julius, hey!" Delilah exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to dance with you," he said innocently.

"Oookay," Delilah said. "So what song are we going to dance to?"

"This one," Julius said simply, and fiddled with his iPod, which was connected to the speakers.

Two girls talking came out of his speakers. A few seconds later, a faster beat came on:

"Oh, my god, Becky. Look at her butt. It is so big, ugh! She looks like, one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, ugh! Y'know, who understands those rap guys? Ugh! They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, kay? I mean, her butt is just so round, it's like, out there, I mean, ugh! Gross. Look! She's just so...BLACK!

I like big butts and I can not lie

You other brothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

And a round thing in your face

You get sprung, wanna pull up tough

'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

Deep in the jeans she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha

And take yo pictcha

My home boys tried to warn me

But that butt you got makes (me so horny)

Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin

You say you wanna get in my Benz?

Well, use me, use me

'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen her dancin'

T'hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' flat butts are the thing

Take the average black man and ask him that

She gotta pack much back

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)

Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)

Shake that healthy butt!

Baby got back!

(LA face with an Oakland booty)

Baby got back!

(LA face with an Oakland booty)

I like 'em round, and big

And when I'm throwin' a gig

I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal

Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home

And, ugh, double up, ugh, ugh

I ain't talkin' 'bout Playboy

'Cause silicon parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy

So find that juicy double

Mix-a-Lot's in trouble

Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos

Knock kneed bimbos walkin' like hos

You can have them bimbos

I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya

I won't cuss or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (oooooh)

'Til the break of dawn

Baby got it goin' on

A lot of simps won't like this song

'Cause those punks like to hit it and quit it

And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm long and I'm strong

And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)

If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)

Then turn around! Stick it out!

Even white boys got to shout

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

Yeah, baby...when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda

But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups

But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role

And tell you that the butt ain't gold

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat

Well, I ain't down with that!

'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'

And I'm thinkin' 'bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines

You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sista, I can't resist her

Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to diss

'Cause his girls are on my list

He had game but he chose to hit 'em

And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if your butt is round

And you want a triple X throwdown

Dial 1-900-MIXALOT

And kick them nasty thoughts

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back)

(Little in the middle but she got much back)

(Little in the middle but she got much back)

(Little in the middle but she got much back)

By the end of the song Delilah and Julius were dancing very closely together.

"Now, wasn't that fun?" Julius asked as he wrapped his arms around Delilah, holding her close.

"Mmmhm," Delilah replied, placing her head against Julius' shoulder.

Another song came on, "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado. Delilah and Julius started to slowly dance to it. Suddenly, the door banged open, and Nosey and Zoe came in.

"Hey, Julius, I was just wondering if I could, uh..." Nosey trailed off as he took in Delilah and Julius dancing.

Zoe blushed. "Oh my Carlisle. I'm so sorry. We totally should have knocked. Um, Nosey and I will just...go..." She then pulled Nosey out the still open door and closed it behind her.

Delilah and Julius looked at each other with one eyebrow raised.

"Well, that was interesting," Julius said.

"Uh-huh," Delilah agreed. "Let's just keep dancing."

"Okay," Julius replied, and they did.


	4. Suddenly Seymour

Delilah was crying softly in her room. She did this every once in a while when everything got to be too much, but only when she thought no one was listening. She heard a soft knock on her door and Julius came in. He attached his iPod to her speakers, fiddled with it for a moment, then went and sat beside Delilah. Julius put his arm around Delilah and pulled a Kleenex out of his pocket and offered it to her. Delilah accepted it and began to wipe her eyes. Soft piano music was coming from his iPod.

"Lift up your head

Wash off your mascara

Here take my Kleenex

Wipe that lipstick away

Show me your face

Clean as the morning

I know things were bad

But now they're okay

Suddenly Seymour

Is standing beside you

You don't need no makeup

Don't have to pretend

Suddenly Seymour

Is here to provide you

Sweet understanding

Seymour's your friend

Nobody ever

Treated me kindly

Daddy left early

Mama was poor

I'd meet a man and

I'd follow him blindly

He'd snap his fingers

Me, I'd say 'sure'

Suddenly Seymour

Is standing beside me

He don't give me orders

He don't condescend

Suddenly Seymour

Is here to provide me

Sweet understanding

Seymour's my friend

Tell me this feeling lasts til forever

Tell me the bad times are clean washed away

Please understand that it's still

Strange and frightnin'

For losers like I've been

It's so hard to say

Suddenly Seymour

He purified me (you)

Suddenly Seymour showed me I (you) can

Learn how to be more

The girl that's inside me (you)

With sweet understanding

Seymour's my (your) man"

When the song was over, Julius hugged Delilah.

"Thanks, I needed that," Delilah said softly, still crying a bit.

"You know that I'll always be here for you, right?" Julius asked.

"Uh huh," Delilah said softly.

"So, would you like to go to a fancy restaurant with me tonight, at seven?"

"Okay."

Delilah and Julius moved toward each other, and started to kiss softly. It was perfect, and no one interupted them.


End file.
